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  • Writer's pictureCheyMoFaulkner

Time

Hi there Morgan here and I want to warn you, WIDE ANGLES PEOPLE! Never thought at 26 I’d be coaching myself how to walk in and out of a doorway! But hey, it sure seems like the lessons and obstacles we encounter these days have no timelines anymore.


Now what exactly am I talking about regarding wide angles? Well. Picture this. It’s a gorgeous Sunday afternoon in Sonoma, California, wine country, and all is well in the... (well, my) world. Our Mom’s in town for her birthday celebration, sisters (both twins and singleton) are reunited, sundresses are on point, and the Pinot Noir is flowin’. Finally, after what seems like an eternity of a year...going on two years, living through this pandemic, a LITTLE sense of normalcy.


Ha! Or so I thought. Since I really haven’t been out much at all this last year, my bearings are completely off. When I strolled from our table at the winery, towards the building to find the restroom, my entire pod nearly ripped off when I got a little too close to the door frame! By the grace of god, my cannula stayed on and I was able to secure my life dependent technology with a bandaid and fortunately enjoy the remainder of the birthday celebration. CAN-U-LA say # BLESSED?!


The point to this anecdote; it had been quite some TIME since I’d been out and about enjoying some of the very activities I love, (wining and dining with friends and family), and it really made me take a second to reflect. How long had it been since something like this had happened to me? Since something like this had happened to Cheyanne? Had this ever happened to Cheyanne? Had it been so long that I couldn’t even remember? What would I have done if there hadn’t been a bandaid readily available? If there isn't enough thinking about our T1 needs 24-7, is this something I now need to add to the worry list too? How much time is this disease going to continue to take up in my life?!


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Skkkrrrt. Chey takeover here! Now while I love any chance to make fun of my sister being an absolute ding dong for running into doors, the biggest takeaway for us here was not to complain about how day in and day out our simple life experiences are affected by being Type 1s. (Because hey! We’ve truly grown into our own identities living as diabetics and are empowered by what makes us “different”). But ultimately, living as a T1 really does, and has, shaped the way we view our days. Our weeks. Time passing in general!


Of course, this idea of time passing has evolved for Morgan and I both throughout the years, but there is one definitive marker of time we both deal with. THE SCREECH.


So, you know when Monday morning rolls around and you continue to hit snooze until 5 minutes before you need to log into work? Then finally your sweet sleepy self rolls out of bed, puts a headband on, and attempts to look alive for your first Zoom meeting? Yeah?


Well imagine there is no snooze button. And the only way to stop the horrible sounding alarm has life altering effects like corrosion or insulin deficiency. It doesn’t matter if that third day falls on a Saturday morning sleep in, or a Friday afternoon happy hour, there is literally no way to hit snooze until the pod is changed and a fresh one is replaced for the next 3 days. And lemme tell ya, 3 days goes by REAL QUICK. While we are grateful for the ease that devices like these provide for us throughout the duration of those 3 days, it’s a true indicator of time passing in a way that people without T1 never have to encounter.


For instance, a routine question when socializing with friends on the weekends tends to be some version of, “how was your week?!” And the common response tends to be “can’t believe how quick (or how long) this week felt!” Or “wow we haven’t talked all week!” But for Morgan and I, because of our necessary schedule, we instead have these types of conversations and reminders not only every week, but every 3 days. Sometimes, 3 days will pass and it will feel like forever. Sometimes, those days will pass and we’ll think...what did we even do these past 3 days? It’s a constant reminder of how our lives, and the lives of T1Ds in particular, are directed, if not dictated, by the passing of time.


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I’ll take the mic back here. It sometimes feels lonely when the rest of the world seems to calculate their lives by when their next vacation is coming up, or how many days are left until the weekend. Fun things. And don’t get me wrong, these are normal behaviors that I engage in too. But I am also constantly calculating my time around how many pods I’ve used. When the next terrible screeching alarm will go off. And the constant debate around whether the time we spend as a society using technology is hindering or helping the greater good. It’s a complex and interesting battle to be in with myself and I’m still learning the tricks and intricacies of navigating these difficult questions. However, I can say with certainty that the time I have had in this world, both living with and without T1D, I do live to the fullest. I keep my head up and I encourage those around me near and far to do the same. While time is scary, continually passing, and out of our control, we can always control our attitudes and the ways we choose to make the most of that time.


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With love and light, and peace and blessings


CheyMo


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